Why is Latvia the best country in the world?
1. Because while America has Superman, Batman and the Good Fairy, we have Pig, Calvin and Cyril.
2. Because we think of the homeless as the most expensive bridge in the world. The structure will consist of non-ferrous metal, and according to our calculations, there will be space for 1,150 cardboard boxes under it.
3. Because we produce sugar, we destroy it and then buy it from abroad.
4. Because inflation is easy to observe. The higher the inflation, the higher the prime minister becomes.
5. Because the only way we can take revenge on Russia for the occupation is sprats.
6. Because remember that no matter how much you have paid taxes to the state, you still owe her.
7. Because the working group, whose task is to solve traffic problems in Riga, includes two theologians, a physiotherapist and a lawyer.
8. Because with us beer is cheaper than mineral water!
9. Because for us the prices of apartments in the center of Riga are equal to the prices in Paris and New York.
10. Because we have a portal www.latvija.lv , which cost 182 296.63 Ls.
11. Because we all love our homeland so much that we try not to destroy it and go abroad.
12. Because bribes can be formalized.
13. Because our country is so powerful that Russia considers us the number one enemy!
14. Because we have a BMW, not a car, but a diagnosis!
15. For we are the only ones who know what to do with a bundle.
16. Because the fight against inflation is raising prices.
17. Because the only thing we have at European level is prices.
18. For we are twice elected as prime minister, whom no one wants to be prime minister.
19. Because Zatlers did not support the castle of light until Demakova said that she had medieval thinking. Now Zatlers supports the castle of light.
20. Because the original idea of Shrek’s image was stolen from Kalvitis’ personal pictures.
21. Because the most expensive pop-up in the world is taking place in Latvia – the New Wave.
22. Because we have so much money that we can spend LVL 15,442,440 for a library that has not yet been built, without paying attention to the rapidly rising inflation.
23. Because only for us rents are higher than wages.
24. Because the servants of the people have more holidays than the average student or kindergarten student.
25. Because the government did not find money in the budget to increase teachers’ salaries, they canceled their annual salary supplement … for a full 30 days.
26. The concert hall is more important to us than the children’s hospital!
27. Because much less money has to be spent on national defense than other countries – tanks are not bought in Latvia – they are pulled out of the swamps!
28. Because we have our own MySpace.com, named 500 – Internal Server Error.
29. Because we have unstrafted police cars whose make, model, color and number plates are publicly available on the Internet.
30. Because with us, belas are always made from fresh meat, unlike McDonald’s.
31. Because Ireland is so close!
32. Because thanks to the newly purchased machines, police officers can leave the scene particularly quickly.
33. Because only in Latvia can you say “I love my homeland!” and be counted Nazis.
34. Because with us, telephone conversations of lawyers with conversational dialogues can be bought in stores.
35. Because the government encourages Rigans to travel by bicycle, which costs as much as parking a car in a semi-safe parking lot, but leaving them in a public place in ~ 40% of cases means stopping them.
36. Because news site commentators know everything best!
37. Because with us the minimum salary is 120 Ls, which allows you to live green … for a whole two weeks!
38. Because the nerves of the Latvian police are especially strong. Who else could walk straight down a narrow, dark street, pretending not to see anything when someone is brutally kicked next to them?
39. Because police officers have a legal right to break the law.
40. Because you can buy a monthly ticket for a student scholarship, which still costs only half the real price.
41. Because our country is so big that we can afford to give Abreni to our little neighbors.
42. Because only in Latvia everything is “little something” – we have “little Paris”, “little Switzerland” and “little Spielberg” Streichs.
43. Because we have a price list for settling natural needs at the Freedom Monument, burning a flag, drowning and throwing a stone bridge over the Daugava.
44. Because our police officers do not intimidate even small disabled people, whom they promptly eliminate with a toothpick.
45. Because with us, it is only possible to go to the store during the advertising break, come back to smoke, uncork the bottle, drink half its volume, sit on the couch and enjoy the movie with the frames cut out so that people do not sit too much in front of the TV.
46. Because we have sports teams that are able to fight the world champions point by point and then lose some apostates.
47. Because we have a legal mafia called the Saeima.
48. Because we live in the most independent place in the world, because nothing depends on it in any case.
49. Because only in Latvia, in order to receive free confectionery, it is necessary to climb the cable ties and express one’s wish out loud.
50. For Kalvītis, the blister of work is not only visible on the abdomen, but also on the cheeks.